What does refer to Positive Parenting? How is Positive Parenting Defined?
What do you think when your kid refused to do the homework or when they don't listen when u asked to switched off the TV.
Your struggle with each kid is different and you don't know where to start and how to tackle this situation and you start searching the topic on Google. "How to do parenting".
It is possible that you might be parenting for last 5 or 10 years but still it makes you feel that it is your first day on the job (parenting).
And you know, we are not alone in this world who is passing through this situation, parents from all over the world searching for the help on the daily basis. Although we love them immensely but still we are not naturally equipped well enough to handle their sibling rivalry or cope up with their tantrum. In fact some time our reactions or responses make their behavior even more worse and then we look for the help either in your social circle or through searching on Google " How to Parent" and then you are bombard with lots of information and topics on parenting like Positive parenting, Authoritarian parenting, Tiger parenting etc.
You mug up all the information from all the sources but still don't know which parenting method will be suitable for you and your kids.
One type of parenting which is known as positive parenting is suitable for all age children and all type parent personality but what is positive parenting this question can arise in your mind?
Those who are not familiar with positive parenting can assume it like everyone gets the trophy or my children can't do anything wrong kind of parenting.
Positive parenting is to make your children empowered and capable which you hope them to be.
This is based on research of renowned psychologist Arthur Alder.
History of positive parenting
Alffred adler studied said children should be treated with dignity and respect. Today's this sentiments are widely accepted. Alfred adler advised parents that they should avoid spoiling and over protection because these kind of parenting only create the emotional and behavioral issues like lack of empathy, feeling of entitlement etc where as parents should be compassionate and firm.This idea becomes the foundation of positive parenting.
Idea of positive parenting works on these three principals.
1. To achieve the belongingness and significance:
Belongingness:
A child sense of belongingness often gets high when there are big life changes in his life like arrival of new baby in his family or separation of his parent. These kinds of changes lead to the regressive behavior, which can be rectified only when we know the root cause of the problem and address it effectively.
Significance:
A child wants to know that how much capable are they. How much they can contribute in his family .It is the feeling of being capable and needed in his family.
2. All behavior is goal oriented
According to the Alder's misbehaviors are child effort to achieve belongingness and significance. Once we understand the problem and consider misbehavior as symptom rather than actual problem then only we can address the root cause and solve the problems but it doesn't mean that previous techniques of parenting was wrong or not good but instead of addressing the root cause it address the symptoms.
3. Misbehaving child is a discouraging child
Misbehaving child is not a bad child according to the Alfred Adler, A discourage child mean, a child who's need for belonging and significance are not met. When child misbehave look it as cry for help, unfortunately for children if they don't find any positive way to get out their feelings and emotions , they use negative behavior to explicit their feelings.
If a child feeling of discouragement continues over a long time then we can see common misbehavior repeatedly.
However when we recognize the misbehavior as a sign only instead of shortcoming of child. We will notice a certain improvement in their behavior.
Does Positive Parenting Work?
After understanding the principal assumptions behind positive parenting, you will understand why it is works for each family.
This is fact that every human has some basic emotional that need to be fulfilled: Belonging and significance.
Positive parenting doesn't affect by the external factors, its only require a parent who can understand the emotional needs of their child and can fulfill it.
Difference between positive parenting and other parenting method is that positive parenting is proactive where as others are reactive.
Even children needs are met, they will still misbehave but it will be over with the passage of time. Positive parenting is a process which need some time, don't expect that you will get the result immediately. It requires patience. Amazing result enjoyed by parents who use positive parenting because they spend less time in reaction and more time in their parenthood. So all these tips of Positive Parenting will be beneficial for parents.
The primarily defined all positive parenting techniques are the responsiveness of a parent to their child’s emotional needs.
There are 5 features of positive parenting:
- Support
- Parenting style
- Feedback
- Parental Involvement
- Parental Self-Care