Use Positive Self-talk to Improve Kid’s Mindset and Behavior
Positivity is an attitude which enhances our way to look at people, circumstances and people .It helps to stay optimistic in adverse situation too. Self talk is a way of inner dialogue that we do with our self in our daily life. Self talk can be positive and negative.
Placebo effect which was introduced by the French physician suggests that our expectation can affect our body. It's like when "fake medicine" effects like a "real medicine" on our body. It means a subconscious mind can be used to heal your body.
Year after Placebo effect, theory of positive affirmation emerged and used to be start in different area of life. It's known as mantra that "Every day, in every way, I m getting better and better ". This theory says that positive affirmation leads to the positive outcome, and negative one leads to the negative outcomes.
Positive affirmation can be used to change the children behavior. It is observed that asking children to repeat words like "I am brave ", I am smart, make them to attain those qualities.
But simply by saying and that "I am brave "I am brave" your kid won't become brave until unless he start to belief in himself or herself.
One of the greatest challenges of positive affirmation theory is the absence of scientific proof.
Critics of this theory say that uttering positive statement "may benefit some people but may backfire to the people who" need "them most.
How to use positive self-talk to change your child's mindset
Does positive self talk and positive affirmation really help to change the children behavior? This subject is the matter of debate.
- Can positive affirmation really improve child behavior
- Does it help to increase their sense of self worth , self esteem and self confidence
- Can positive self talk improve your child performance?
- Does it develop the positive attitude towards the life
- Do they communicate openly and willing to have a dialogue in adverse situation.
- Does is teach them to handle the difficult situation in a easy manner.
Several researches say that positive affirmations with children improve their problem solving skills and creativity under stress. It's also increase the self confidence, self compassion, positive attitude, self worth and value of other people and pro social behavior.
There are ways to start self talk to improve child performance and behavior using positive parenting:-
1. Focus on positive affirmation
Positive affirmation only works when they are consistent with their deeply held belief. Helping child to focus on their effort will lead to the better result.
Examples of affirmation that focus on effort
- I will try
- I will do my best
- I will learn from my mistake
- I will give my 100%
2. Be a role model
Children learn from their parents /elders. If you use the positive self talk then they are likely to use in their life too. Habit of using the positive affirmation around your children is an effective way to accustomed them.
Here are few examples:
- I will try again
- I will try something
3. Link your child words to his action
With the passage of time people gets better because they learn from their mistake. Child does better when they start association with affirmation with specific actions over period of time.
4. Spotting negative self talk
As human we are bias towards negative thinking as a survival instinct. Our step towards positive self talk should be to recognize the negative self talk and eliminate it. Negative thought like "He is smarter than me "or "he scores more marks in exams than me "create a hinder for your child before they try to attempt something.
5. Turning negative talks into positive talk
Whenever negative thoughts pop up in your mind try to turn them into positive thought. For example " I will not be able to crack this chemistry equation " should be replaces with " I will try to solve it later when I complete my rest of the chemistry equations".
6. Read books about self talk
Books are our best friend and an excellent source of information on positive attitude and psychology. There are lots of books available who covered these topics in story book and picture books. Harry porter like book gives a great lesson on positive self talk.
7 Appreciate their efforts
Motivation works wonderfully when it comes to reinforcing the positive behavior in children. Whenever they shows positive self talk or even fail with their positive self talk , always praise them because what is important for us that they learn to keep trying.
By using mindfulness technique, Children learn to keep their minds in present and build a sense of calm and control over their emotions. Those who are practicing mindfulness are more profound insight into themselves and situations
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