How To Argue Effectively With Teen
When our children are on the verge of the adulthood, they asked or demand for more independence and autonomy and as parent we should be prepare them to live their life without us. Although this process is imperfect and this is called Positive Parenting.
Parenting is a long process where no one has the easy answers of the questions that arise in our daily life. Disagreement is one of the cause of conflict or argument that take place between the parents and their teenager children but surely there are ways by practicing it we can navigate or avoid the arguments with teenage children.
In my view arguments is the ability to present your view in a thoughtful way. It should be constructive and logical. Arguments are about clarifying and learning, it's not about winning on others.
Arguing as an important skill
Argue effectively is an important skill for teenagers as they are on the verge of the adulthood. It helps them to market themselves in front of potential employers and build the relationship with others. It helps them in that situation where they need to be listen and negotiate with others.
There are no of ways for arguing effectively, time and practice play a vital role in its successful development. Like other learning, people learn effectively arguing from their mistakes, sometimes frustration and disrespect take over the argument. It's important for parents to know whether they should stop teenagers for arguing or equipped them well in a way where it can be a helpful for them in future.
Advice for parent
Keep Calm: Neither become aggressive in response of teenager aggression nor shout over them to stop them from shouting. It may give the relief for the moment but doesn't lay down the groundwork for a constructive way forward.
Similarly to show to your teenager that you are more stubborn and reasonable than him can only create the heat in the arguments.
It is likely to fuel the long term bitterness in your relationship. In this approach situation ended up where both people behaving badly with each other. By this way teenagers learn nothing about effective arguing. So if the situation becomes heated or tense then it is advisable to parent to walk away from there until the temperature has cooled off and both the parties return and address the issue in rational way.
Distinguish between disrespect and argument: There is a thin line between the disrespect and argument. Arguments and disrespect are linked but it is not a necessary link .Teenagers argue by asking the question and the parents who empathy their kids are more likely to address their arguments calmly, clearly and logically and state as model in front of their kids can help their teenagers to learn effectively.
Ability to construct the logical arguments: It has been observed that teenagers often respond to the situations with emotions. People expect them to argue in a well constructed way but no one tells them to how to do the constructive and logical arguments. Help teenager to develop the good argumentation skill is an important factor in preparation of their future.
Model respect and good argumentation skill: The best way to get the respect from the teenager and make them feel the importance of this is to show them your behavior and deed through actions. Good parents listen and consider the arguments of their teenagers. They value good points raised during the argument and remained calmed even provoked by arguments. Hence they empathies for teenagers and elaborate their decisions. A teenager who knows how it is feel to be respected is likely to respect others and teenagers who has experienced of effective arguing with adults in his early stage of life is likely to develop the similar techniques in later part of their life.
Keep bigger picture of parenting: Teenagers has the tendency of arguments which is the part of their natural development hence it is important for parent to keep in the mind the purpose of parenting a teenager. Winning the arguments shouldn't be the final goal for the parents. However it may give the short term feeling of satisfaction but it should not be the purpose only. Instead of that they should admit that their view was not much appreciated earlier and by using such comments, teenager understands the value of effectively arguing.
By keeping this entire thing in mind we can turn the disagreement into communication and avoid the conflicts with your kids.
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